Are we going about this all wrong?

        One of the truest things I have ever been told is "ignorance is bliss."  The more I know about the world we live in, the harder it is to go on like everything is okay.  Because everything is most certainly not okay.  We are destroying our planet.  Corporate greed still influences major political decisions.  Billions of people are living in poverty, hungry and riddled with curable diseases.  When will we say enough is enough?  What precipice do we need to teeter on to snap us awake and force us into action?  The following are some of the darker thoughts that rattle around in my brain about the world we have created.  It helps me to get it out on paper and I thought sharing could be cathartic as well.


Are we trained to want the wrong things?  We are taught success is a good thing to want.  And it turn, that somehow comes to mean failure is something nobody wants or thus learns how to cope with.  We're told having lots of money is good because it means you can buy things.  These things are supposed to fill our lives and make them better, and because they're better we'll be happier.  But in the end they're still just things.  And because we don't quite feel fulfilled that emptiness that was always there gets a little bigger and is definitely more noticeable.  Pretty soon, the emptiness is a chasm and there's no way to fill it all back in.  

We're filling the emptiness with the wrong things.  Instead of love and joy and laughter, we want Ipads, the newest smart phone, and the most expensive car.  You often see pictures or hear stories of people who are dirt poor and happier than anyone else.  They haven't complicated their lives with this need for material things, this constant craving for more.  They are purely satisfied with what they already have.  They enjoy the small things in life and count each day as a beautiful blessing.  That makes each one you get after that much better than the last.


Are we taught to admire and respect the wrong qualities in people?  We value shrewd business tactics over fidelity to one's spouse and emotionally supporting one's family.  We respect people who are stoically composed at all times instead of expressing how they truly feel.  We admire strength and virility.  We respect wealthy, successful people.    But what about kindness?  What about people who are able to successfully mediate a dispute instead of using their fists?  What about generosity or humility?  Aren't these more admirable qualities than ones possessed by someone who will stop at nothing to get to the top?  Maybe it's why bullying has become such a problem in our schools.  Kids are learning that being strong and mean will get you a lot further in our world than being nice to others.  Where did they learn this and are we okay with them learning it?  It all comes down to what are we teaching our children?


Putting the needs of individuals over the masses is putting our planet in peril.  Are we going to do something about it, and will it be enough?  One of the most eye-opening books I have ever read was Confessions of an Economic Hit Man by John Perkins.  It reads like a thriller but the most chilling aspect is that it is all true.  It provides a first hand account of exactly how many developing countries the U.S. has exploited in the name of progress and just how long we've been ravaging countries for their natural resources, nonchalantly destroying the environment.  Perkins has a great quote from another one his books, The Secret History of The American Empire: Economic Hit Men, Jackals & The Truth About Global Corruption, about the connection between selfishness and extreme poverty.  He says, "Stop being so greedy, and so selfish. Realize that there is more to the world than your big houses and fancy stores. People are starving and you worry about oil for your cars. Babies are dying of thirst and you search the fashion pages for the latest styles. Nations like ours are drowning in poverty, but your people don't even hear our cries for help. You shut your ears to the voices of those who try to tell you these things. You label them radicals or Communists. You must open your hearts to the poor and downtrodden, instead of driving them further into poverty and servitude. There's not much time left. If you don't change, you're doomed. (Perkins, 2008).”  It is up to us--that is what it comes down to.  We can choose to fight and attempt to correct the problem  or we can die slowly at our own hands.  The choice has always been ours. 


There is always a new group to oppress.  In the twenty first century it's the homosexual population.  Is it necessary to declare one group of people lesser and strip them of equal rights to learn from ourselves and move forward as a species from an evolutionary standpoint?  Or are we still just too ignorant to learn from our mistakes, doomed to keep repeating them instead?  They say history is cyclical.  You can see it in the way empires always rise and collapse.  Does this cyclical process mean oppression is inevitable as well?  As long as one group of people seeks to have power over another someone will always be oppressed?  It makes sense when looking at it from a historical perspective.  Using this logic, one could then argue there are certain things we will just never learn.  I refuse to accept that.  One day someone has to get it right.  One day, there has to be a civilization that learns the value of widespread symbiotic relationships--cooperation gets you further than war, peace can be profitable too, and nobody is happy unless everyone is happy.  At this rate, we may not be alive to see it but I just hope it happens someday.  I hope it is possible.


Are we too far gone to fix?  How do you keep living in a world that disgusts you and breaks your heart daily?  And when you can't imagine a happy ending, are you just supposed to go on living anyways? Sometimes I honestly find myself wondering if we should just drive ourselves into extinction.  Maybe it's what we've deserved, and in hundreds of thousands or maybe even millions of years the next advanced species to come along will do better than we did.  It gets difficult for me to think about raising kids in a world that scares me, one I see getting worse with each passing day.  There are so many things I don't agree with; so many things I find morally repugnant and that make my skin crawl.  But there is still the tiniest sliver of hope.  I have the smallest inkling of a feeling that things can still turn around.  We're on the brink of a revolution.  You can feel it.  It's slow, but it's happening.  People are starting to care about the right things.  We're starting to realize it's up to us.  Nothing ever changed unless a group of people demanded it.  Because I can see these seedlings of change being planted, I know it's too soon to throw in the towel.  The power of hope can never be underestimated.  Hope is a powerful weapon, and once it's grabbed onto there's no telling what it can do.

things I've learned working with kids

Think of this as Part II in what may become a "things I've learned..." series.  I've been a nanny for a wonderful family for the past year and a half, and though thoroughly enjoying it I have always been aware that it is a filler job for me.  I don't plan on making a career out of it and on the surface, it doesn't seem to have much of a connection to what I do plan on pursuing professionally.  So, I have spent a lot of time justifying why being a nanny has been relevant to my life and this list of things I have learned is what I came up with.



1.) Patience seriously is a virtue: I know I said a version of this in "things I've learned from my dog", but I am repeating it to stress how highly I regard patient people.  As someone who is quick to anger, patience is something I struggle to hold onto.  But over time I have realized anger and worry never get you anywhere.  I've never changed the outcome of something or altered someone else's behavior by stressing about it or getting mad because of it.  Patience leads to calm, and when you're able to stay calm, regardless of the situation, you will always see things more clearly.  If you're thinking clearly, the likely outcome will almost always be favorable to the alternative.

2.) Expect the Unexpected: One of the best things about working with kids is you can and should do something different with them every day.  It helps stimulate their minds, and in my opinion they behave better if you stay active doing different things.  The downside of going to public places with kids and being active is that you are exposing them to more dangers and increasing your potential to lose them.  This in no way means you shouldn't do these things, but it does mean you need to take some precautions.  I try to prepare for every situation I can think of when we're leaving the house-- an allergy attack, a fall on the playground, dehydration, hunger, the need to go to the bathroom, boogers, dirty hands & faces, etc.  Learning to be mega-aware of your surroundings and thinking on your feet when faced with a crisis, minor or major, is important and a totally underrated skill.  Being a nanny I have realized parents really do have super powers, especially stay-at-home parents (as these are the subjects I have had the most interactions with).  When I say powers, I am obviously talking about a set of special skills you can only acquire once you are charged with taking care of children.  There are certain things you have to learn by doing--in my opinion, anything involving kids follows this rule.  Being around children makes us better people because it forces us to examine our own behavior--why do I react this way in similar situations? What would I say if someone told me what I just told her?  This kind of self-awareness or self-examination is productive if it is then turned into a useful outcome like self-improvement of some kind.  Because actions speak louder than words after all.

3.) Anger only gets you so far: I have never seen anger get me anywhere with a child.  Anytime I've lost my temper and screamed at one I am only met with silence and a blank stare.  Anger is a completely unproductive emotion.  It never makes a situation better.  It never makes you feel any better.  The best thing any of us can do with anger is let go of it as quickly as possible.  And there's no set way of how to do this because anger is so different in everyone.  All we can do is find what works for us and be patient with it.  Don't worry.  Be happy :).  

4.) Keep It Simple: Kids don't take anything too seriously.  You get the occasional drama queen, but for the most part they brush off a dead pet or even a relative like they would a skinned knee or a fight over a toy.  They laugh when they do something funny.  They cry when something is sad.  They don't complicate the truth.  They don't complicate love (until you do something wrong and they hate you until they love you again).  It's always easy for me to tell when a kid is lying-- there's an uneasiness in their expression, they can't quite look you in the eye, there may even be a twitch of a smile on their face.  They know they're doing something wrong.  You're either wrong or you're right.  You're good or you're bad.  We could get into a philosophical debate that there is good and bad in everyone and you can't have one without the other.  This may be true, but there's an inherent beauty in the simple way a child looks at the world.  They take things at face value, accept them for what they are and move on.  We're all told you have to grow up someday, but once in a while I don't think it could hurt to remember what was so great about being a kid and embrace that innocent simplicity in our grown up lives.

5.) The small things matter too: Maybe it's because kids change so quickly and grow up so fast, but I have found myself really enjoying the small moments with them.  The absurd things that come out of their mouths that make you laugh hours later when thinking about it. Baking cookies on a rainy day together.  Catching butterflies in the backyard.  Singing along to the radio in the car.  It's these small moments that make up the meat of your personal relationships.  They're the things you hold onto after a person is gone.  These small pieces of time end up being some of the most important moments in your life.

Hope you enjoyed and agree how important some of these life lessons can be!